Rogue Idea

Well today i had my lab mid term.Â? it was a piece of cake.Â? a piece of cake that was expired. i didn’t do very well but theres pretty much nothing i can do about it now.Â? tomorrow i have my history exam and my biochemistry exam.Â? i think i will do fine but then again what do i know.

so the other day im talking to my mom and she was telling me how her friends have kids who are in college and also trying to get into med school.Â? she said that they are always studying, stressing all the time and working really hard.Â? and then she sees me, and she said she doesnt see that i’m working very hard, or studying much at all, and that i don’t even seem worried or stressed like they do.Â? and im thinking…well thats because i know how to breathe and eat and sleep normally.Â? Not that i don’t work hard or study, but i just do it differently thanÂ? most people.Â? and i also do other things and work on stuff that is unrelated to school because i have interests outside of my textbook.Â? basically any time that they see me doing something unrelated to science they start asking questions.Â? i’m practicing piano - “Why are you playing piano?Â? you should study…when are you taking the mcat?”.Â? i’m reading a book - “why are you reading that book? is it for class?Â? no?Â? ….when are you taking the mcat?”.Â? im online “why are you online?Â? why do you always chat?Â? ….when are you taking the mcat?”Â? PLEASE STOP MENTIONING THE MCAT!Â? I guess they are just frustrated but still.Â? Because you know how parents do that thing where they sort of probe around stuff trying to make you feel like you have to prove something to them?Â? like how theyll casually say “ohh..so and so’s daughter just got accepted to med school, shes this and that and this that and she can also make a pound cake from scratch, etc”Â? yeah.Â? i dont really care.Â? and i think my parents have very slowly started to understand that the ‘you should prove yourself’ tactic doesnt really work because i could care less what people think and what other people are doing.Â? and its very frustrating sometimes because a lot of times i personally know ’so and so’, and what i hear their parents tell my parents about them is sometimes just a blatant lie.Â? all this talk about 4.0 when they really have a 2.5, and how theyve taken this test and that test already but OF COURSE they never mention the score their precious and smart son/daughter made on the exam.Â? its like theyre trying to show off cause their kid is ‘ahead’ of people just because they took the stupid thing.

alright.Â? i am done whining like a baby and being a young person who doesn’t really have a clue but thinks they do.Â? i got my book today from the library so i will be working on that this weekend and hoping to also finish up some certain tasks with my website.Â? also i should probably make this site look better in IE too because its hideous and i can’t stand it.Â? granted i’m the only who comes here anyways but yeah.Â? it still bothers me.

Its true. Nice, cool, fall/winter weather reminds me of marching band. Sadly enough it was the only reason you’d ever see me outside during high school.Â? And I was outside a lot because of band.Â? Normally I would consider cold weather with the sun out VERY good weather.Â? Because in band we would rarely have any excuse to go inside during practice. Unless it was a state law or a school rule about something, we were out there in the wind, rain, and even though our fingers almost fell off from frostbite we were still out there every morning at 6 or so.Â? Anyways in the midst of missing my flute playing I have decided to buy myself a new one and continue with my learning.Â? However, the model that I want is a tad bit pricey.Â? I don’t know the exact price yet, but some bastard is selling it for 3k or so on ebay so I will guestimate that buying it from a store will be very pricey also.Â? Why not order it online?Â? Well, I might order it online if I find a price and place that i can trust.Â? I like to buy expensive things in person though so that I can check it.Â? And there is no way I am going to spend that amount of money online cause its just too risky and there are too many crazies on the internet these days.

Right now its 1:30 a.m. and I can’t sleep.Â? This is a very, very bad thing too.Â? I’m thinking that maybe it is because I have passed that ‘point’ where I just won’t get sleepy for a while.Â? This is very annoying and the timing couldn’t be worse because I really have a lot of shit to do this week and I don’t want to be knocked out asleep tomorrow for 6 hours in the middle of the day and then have a hard time going to bed tomorrow.Â? So since I am awake now pasted the point of no return I will have to stay up all the way until tomorrow night. And hopefully I will be able to go to bed at 9 and not pass my ‘point’ again- which is highly possible since I will probably get sleepy in the evening time tomorrow since I am up late tonight.Â? Well anyways, I am going to bed now to try and sleep.

so yeah.Â? last night i got my period.Â? it sucks.Â? but i lived.Â? then ths morning i woke up and i was like wow…WOW i feel like shit.Â? but the good thing is, all the neat little supplies and gadgets in my room always cheer me up.Â? like my lab notebook.Â? makes me happy everytime i see it cause it looks so nice and i dont have to deal with that ugly yellow piece of shit everyone else had to write on.Â? mine is actually white.Â? white like normal paper!Â? i think later ill post a picture of that little light ball thing that chau gave me.Â? well i am supposed to be going to a history review session later, in like an hour or so.Â? i actually dont feel like going anywhere today now that i feel like this, but i already told chau i would meet her afterwards so i guess i need to go.Â? although i think maybe i just wont go to the review session, cause i wanna just meet up with my TA next week when i have some specific questions i guess.Â? alright well thats all for now.

well i am taking a break right now from reading history stuff and so i guess ill write in here a little.Â? well lately i have come up with a new idea that can replace my old site idea.Â? but only problem is, i dont wanna give up on the old one, AND its halfway there already.Â? so what im thinking is, ill just have to work on both of them at the same time, but the new idea will probably have to take a slower pace since i really wanna get the other one done too.Â?

besides that, today i have many tasks to do and i am already very tired and worn out from yesterday’s long day.Â? after parking INCREDIBLY far from the rest of society, i walked to the library, then to the student center, then to a student lounge, then to class where i had to stand for 6 hours and look at very tiny white crystals in the lab, and then walk all the way back to where i parked.Â? i have no done that much walking in a long time, especially since usually when i bring my laptop i plan to sit still in one place for a while.Â? which i didnt do yesterday and i wanted to really just sit down and do nothing after i got so tired.Â? and right now, i wanna go home so bad but i still hav class and then igotta go listen to some presentation thing later for my professor.Â? welli dont have to, but i get extra points if i do and i want some extra points so yeah.Â?

so i am looking online lately , i usually go to sitepoint and browse in the php, and beginners area.Â? but anyways i then realize today that the information on there is all so…disorganized.Â? now you cant really do much about it since the information just comes as people wanna post it to the forums.Â? but the information threads are just massive amounts of stuff and its all just so messy.Â? sure, there are some with little table of contents but even that isnt really all that directive.Â? now thankfully the area that i browse normally doesnt have too many people who would make me mad.Â? which happens a lot when i visit those ‘woe is me’ type threads and probably 4/5 threads in the education section.Â? so i notice this thing about how there are too many meaningless threads in the place.Â? granted i finally saw it once everyone was done talking about it, but oh well.Â? i do thing there are tooooo many crappy game things.Â? its like ‘what is the word you are think of rightttttt….NOW!’. i mean..what?Â? its like people have nothing to talk about in there.Â? which is fine with me if theyre just boring like that.Â? but it does make me not wanna really visit there as often anymore.Â? sure, its just the internet.Â? but even online, i dont really be affiliated with people who cant even think past the first words that randomly come into their head.Â? and also i’ve noticed an increase in high schoolers who are trying to go into this whole ‘career’ of web development and what nots.Â? trying to get way ahead of themselves studying this and that and learning a whole bunch of stuff ahead of time.Â? granted some people i know can do a zillion things all at once (and i have met a few of these people and they are great and amazing) but most of the time i find that people who are really really good at something because theyve done it all their life, have the hardest damn time communicating with other people about it.Â? its like they dont even know how to socialize correctly.Â? also they lack basic knowledge in everything else except that one subject.Â? now i think part of the problem is because some of these people think they are just so high and mighty and too good to help other people.Â? some people arejust like that. they think they have it all and they dont wanna share it.Â? when you ask them questions they give you some shit that they know you wont understand to discourage you from asking them more. if you dont wanna help then just say so that way no one has to waste their time.Â? then they act like ‘beginners’ questions are more like common sense and youre an idiot for not knowing.Â? but when you ask them what is 1+1 they have to go find their calculator because they are actually just a big file cabinet of memorized solutions to common problems in their ‘field’ or ‘topic/subject’ that they are oh soooo good at, when really its just because they have guessed and checked that so many times that they have it engraved on the back of their head.Â?

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and now.Â? i will go eat my goldfish and go to class.Â?

well…not really education ‘haters’.Â? but like…’haters’.Â? like you know, people who say ‘oh yeah i dont like that’ and then another person would be like ‘hater!’Â? or ‘dont hate!’ or ..something else.Â? well, i get the point so i guess thats all that matters.Â? welli was going to vent about how i dont like people who scoff at going to college and getting an education. but i am too tired from all the walking i had to do today because i parked so far.Â? i want to sleep in tomorrow really bad.Â? but i guess i wont.Â? so that means i should go to sleep now.

yes. thats what im currently working on. making a colorful pretty history timeline.Â? the only problem is, its long as hell.Â? and i never noticed that it takes SO long to take notes while reading. usually i just read and i can go through a few hundred pages pretty quickly.Â? well..taking notes, it took me likeÂ? 2 days for 100 pages.Â? lol.Â?

so right now i am in the library and printing out the little slides for biochemistry.Â? while im waiting i decided to go look at more of that list stuff.Â? i wanna make a newsletter kinda thing, just because its fun.Â? although i probably wont be sending out that many messages once i start my website.Â? but it would be nice to have.Â? okay the actual truth is i just wanna be able to say i have my own newsletter. lol.Â? it will be like an annual newsletter, meaning one newsletter will be sent out every year :).Â? and most likely it will say useless stuff since i doubt anyone would subscribe lol.Â? anyways so i was looking on sitepoint for some script sites or whatever yesterday and there was something on there that i wanted to see today so that i can look it up while im at school here and on internet thats actually decent speed.Â? and well this is what i get : “there seems to be a problem with the database”. right.Â? well that sucks.Â? now i gotta go home and do it and take like 10 minutes longer. which is a long time when youre talking about simply ‘waiting’ for something.Â?

okay well i gotta go print some more stuff now . more later

ugh i had to edit this like three times because apparently this thing just saves wherever it wants to and cuts out random parts ofmy post this morning.

Well, this happens time to time and its not really bothered me much before, but lately my internet has been all weird lately. like i cant access this website for frankandyvette either but now i can again.Â? then my free host decided that they werent gonna be free hosts anymore and frank had a heart attack so then i had to have one too and look for hosting all over the place.Â? i was down to media temple and site 5 but then my free host decided to still be a free host but lower the space/bandwidth they were giving away.Â? still WAY too much space and bandwidth for me to ever use anyways so that is why i havent moved my website.

anyways recently i havent been able to go into certain sites and what not.Â? i dont know it drove me crazy cause i couldnt log into my cpanel.Â? but now i can so its okay i think.Â? also i cant sign into stupid yahoo or msn messengers either. but i think i will change over to only using yahoo messenger from now on cause it says that i can talk to people who use msn also through the yahoo thing. but i dont know how to do that yet since i cant log into it today for some reason.Â? well i am starting to crank out a lot of stuff for my project now, as in the actually content being organized and put together.Â? so the ’site building’ is done, but of course in between all the school and studying progress has been a tiny bit slow on getting the content out.Â? but i guess thats how its gonna be.

this last week i went to eat at Arirang, this korean restaurant in southwest.Â? it was pretty good but definantly overpriced like hell.Â? then there was this big i don tknow, issue on the payment and stuff for the other table, but thankfully our bill at my table was easily and evenly split pretty nicely.Â? i did have the taste of that korean meat in my mouth for like another extra dayÂ? though.Â? i think no amount of scope or toothpaste couldve gotten rid of it.Â? oh well i will go back to my studying now while waiting for frankie to come home from church.Â? hes so cute